Reviews by markjazz

Man travels to the moon just to litter it with it tons of crap. That about sums up this movie. It's ok but it's damn cheap looking.

Wow, this movie is pretty bad. Great gore effects though but why do we care about the 4 coke heads? They don't offer anything to the plot at all. The random helicopter crash was mental. Who's the guy in the mask? How did the whole city get infected if no one could leave the theater? The dubbing in English was crap too. I've seen much better.

TRT: 99 Minutes
First Zombie Death: 1:20
Last Zombie Death: 1:10:31
First Human Death: 27:59
Last Human Death: 1:31:12
Zombies Killed: 28
Humans Killed by Francesco: 15
Zombies Killed by Francesco: 19
Zombies Shot in the Head: 16
Decapitations: 2
Girls Puked On: 1
Cigarettes Smoked by Francesco: 9
Swears: 10
Tits: 1 (Meaning how many different woman bare their boobs)
Scene's with Tits: 3
WTF Moments: Way to many to count!

This was probably my favorite indie album for the longest time, maybe it still is too. I remember there was three versions of it too. One had just the normal tracklisting. Another had some silence and then a bonus track. And the 3rd one had the bonus track, then some more silence, and then some guy with a deep voice talking about how to make mac and cheese. How Canadian!

TRT: 89 Minutes
First Death: 4:00
First Ghost Kill: 21:30
Last Death: 1:17:00
Total Deaths: 21
Swears: 15
Tits: 0
Explosions: 1
Implosions: 1
Scenes with Blood: 20
Possessions: 4
Fight Scenes: 7
Riot Scenes: 3
Shots of hot girls taking a poop: 1
Best part of the movie: Character Brian is wearing a "Han Shot First" shirt.

The above line is the actual tag line for Dead Space and it says a lot about this movie already because it's wrong. The main actor comes from space but the whole movie takes place on a Planet called Phaebon. Another couple things to mention. This movie was shot in 17 days and the director didn't even see the script until the first day of shooting! Now that that's out of the way. I knew this movie was going to bad when I got it but it barely gets a 1.5/5 it's so bad. The alien make up is good and some of the shots are ok but like most shitty films the script and dialogue ruin the entire movie. At times it tries to be a comedy but it falls majorly flat. The robot Tinpan is a waste of space and is useless too! The editing is also pretty crappy. The audience gets this love scene that pops up out of no where and it's like the director wanted tits in the movie but he didn't know where to put it he just said fuck it and added this shit love scene in the middle of the movie. This movie came as a double with The Terror Within, which was a 2.5/5 so it's the better of the two, but that isn't saying much. Still, it's a Roger Corman film and I'll always support him.

It's so hard for me to take this movie seriously when the werewolf looks so cute. The plot of this story is pretty good and it is a different take but it's fairly slow, hardly any gore, and the ending is bad. Why does the werewolf insist on climbing every building instead of just running away? I would have like to have seen him get shot and then fall off the building, which is what I thought was going to happen, but instead he just gets shot and that's it...fade to credits. Not the best I've seen but it is an interesting story.

I'm probably in the minority when I say this but I actually liked this one better than Part 5. I had heard how crappy this one was before I watched it and I honestly was surprised, and glad, that it turned out to be fairly watchable. I must admit though it is the tamest out of all the previous ones as far as deaths go but what I like about this one is storyline. It can almost be viewed as an original movie on it's own, without all the previous ones, and I think it works better that way when watching it. The acting is good too and had this movie changed a fews things I think it would have been awesome. I think if I was watching this when I was fifteen I would have loved it for sure. So overall this movie is not exactly scary but it has it's moments and the overall atmosphere is pretty good. One scene did give me chills too.

I do have to make a comment though on the lightning effects in this movie because they're hilarious. You can tell it's just some bright bulb going off and on because not all of the ground gets lite up at once when the flash goes off. This town also has to have the oddest storm in America too. Every night there's a lightning storm yet there's no rain... and I mean every night!

For what it's worth this movie was pretty good. There's a good revenge story line and the costumes and action are good too. There is some bloody wierd parts in this movie too and I like the whole Snake Cult idea, which was done very well.

There's a couple funny sceens too. 1) Conan punches out a camel. 2) Only Arnold Schwarzenegger can get away with ending a prayer to his God with "...and if you don't listen, the hell with you!" Love it! For the early 80's it's definatly a good movie and it has me wanting to see Part 2 for sure.

I have mixed feelings about this movie. I love Egyptian history and this movie does a good job of showing it off with massive sets and good displays. The first time Cleopatra enters Rome is pretty awesome. However, I felt that Antony and Cleo were fighting more than being in love and infact didn't even seem in love at all in some scenes. The acting is a bit over the top in a lot of scenes too, but I did love the acting done by Roddy McDowall as Octavian / Caesar Augustus and this is a movie I wouldn't mind having in my collection one day.

Negative side notes: I don't think they could have made an Egyptian Queen any whiter if they carved her in ivory. However, it is Elizabeth Taylor and damn she's hot. RIP lovely!